every Wednesday...

...i talk to my thesis adviser.
and thus every Wednesday i feel dumber than the previous Wednesday.

The sad thing is that it's not really my adviser but me. Yes me. dumb me. wow dummy! what a perfect combination. Here's the scene...

Marius: Ui!
Me: Wala pa si ma'am?
Marius: Wala pa e. Ma lelate daw sya. Tapos mo na ba?
( He is referring to the chapter1 thesis draft)
Me: Naku hindi pa. Hindi ko nga alam bakit ako andito e kasi tong nasa bag
ko isang malaking basura. di na nga tapos basura pa. Kaw ba?
Marius: Tapos na. Patingin nga nung sayo.
Me: Ayoko.
Marius: Cge na. Estudyante lang nman ako.
Me: Kahit bayaran mo pa ako ng isang milyon ayoko, hmmm pero baka hihihi...

Long story short, my classmate was able to finish his draft. It didn't even look like a draft, it was very well written. I would like to describe mine and truth be told I am fumbling for the right words because even the word "crap" is an understatement. When did I start making "crap"/s? It's just so disheartening. I crammed my way through Tuesday evening pretending to finish the first rough draft of my thesis. I really didn't want to see my adviser and talk about the shit I made. Wait, make that "unfinished" shit. And worse my time slot had me side by side to one of the best kids in class. His was not only finished, it was complete, presentable, thoughtful and polished. And of course anything beside/compared to mine will look like a million bucks. Vice versa, anything beside his draft was crap. Wow I'm celebrating that word now.

I really am not all too confident with what I'm doing. Yet I thought it over and realized I was making lectures rather than an intro for my thesis. I don't know where my common sense is nowadays. I've been reading too much nothing is actually perceived. Marius talked to me after my advisory and he was the most helpful. He gave me insights I was dying to hear. I may not be the best around but when you are in times like this, you really see the the bulb lit brightly up there.

Thanks man.