the original

nalulungkot ako bigla. i feel so alone. i feel like a complete loser. i don't know if it helps that im writing this down or maybe mas ina-underline ko lang ang pagbaba ng self esteem ko. wala naman ako nito masyado nung napupuno pa ako ng presensya ng mga taong i na allow ako maging ako. dun lang nman talaga tayo masaya diba? parang nababagalan ako sa usad ng buhay ko or more on parang di ko sya nararamdamang umuusad. tama ba yun? parang everyday walang fabulous na nangyayari o di nman kaya umuurong lahat sa buhay ko. nag umpisa ito ng makita ko ang ilang pictures ng mga kaibigan ko at not really mga kaibigan having the time of their lives vacationing. parang nakokonsume ako ng inggit na dapat e hindi ko nman nararamdaman. let me try to rephrase the word inggit kasi medyo may halo na syang sipa or sabunot, siguro more on hope. hope na sana one of these days i can also go on vacation where i know il just be myself with the people who matter most. i hate the feeling of losing belief in yourself because i believe (and i know many people do) that if you don't believe in yourself, then no one else would. to add to that i also believe kasi na we should surround ourselves with people who are greater than us or those who can give you a lesson or two. or perhaps just interesting people that can encourage and unleash your passion. i don't wanna be stagnant. i want my way out of this rut.