when you can't stop the moonlight

i can't stop the moonlight. i can't do everything. i can't color your wings. i can't force your seeds to grow. i can't be your sun all day long. i can't sleep all day. i can't fight the breathing.

but i can think and wallow in sadness endlessly.i guess some people are born that way.

sometimes life brings out the worst n you and you just don't know what to do. of course there are some things actually many things beyond our control. and i find this need to be in control.

im widening my perception because i am overwhelmed with thoughts and ideas nowadays. from literary theories, theater, financial issues, social consciousness, web-like friendships, self realization and uber love.

the first few sentnces of this entry is from the bedrock of my mind. you can make sense out of it because anyway i felt those things although they are quite incomprehensible. i am always incomprehensible nowadays. inarticulate most of the time. it's discouraging how i can't reconcile my thoughts and my utterance like i used to. that's why i am into the whole qustion of control. i need to be in control.

by the way i had my haircut. it's really short. the shortest to date in my lifetime. so so short bordering to semikal. =D maybe some people would ask me what i had in mind when i decided to cut it. i want to be happy. even for just a moment. just a moment.

i don't know if that moment came.

another important thing would be my gradual maturity...

ill talk about it next time. and to wrap up this entry i will leave the moon as it is. because in actuality i am not thinking about the moon but i am thinking about the fifteenth of March. And it makes me sad. Sadder than the fact of my uncontrollable moon. But i do think of the moonlight. every minute of the day.


Entry Date: March 15, 2006