missing

"ang sarap magmahal lalo na kapag wala kang hinihiling na kapalit. Ang sarap magmahal lalo na kapag nakikita mong masaya siya. ang sarap magmahal...ang sarap" -Ate Summer-


miss ko ng magmahal. hinahayaan ko na naman ang sarili kong maging corny at maging pathetic. pero totoo, miss ko ng magmahal.

alam kong alam niyo kung ano ang tinutukoy ko. marami akong mahal kasi naman tao ako at mahal ko lahat ng mga mahal ko sa buhay. pero iba yung mahal na napapatawa ka at naibabahagi mo yung sarili mo.

siguro hindi pa talaga ukol kasi naman pinagpipilitan ko ang mga bagay na hindi pa naman talaga ukol. walang bukol. ukol. bukol. ano pa man. miss ko ng mgmahal.

siguro masarap yun.

sabi nga ni ate summer. masarap daw. siguro masarap at masaya at kakaiba. hindi maipaliwanag. kaya nga pilit kong iniintindi yung mga taong nagsasabing, "basta.alam mo na yan pag siya na nga. mararamdaman mo na lang," pag tinatanong tungkol sa mga minamahal nila.

wala pa ata ako dun.

siguro pagdumating yun. dilaw yung mundo ko. pero may konting bahid ng pink ang paligid ko. At siguro sobrang saya akong maliligo at magbibihis ng puti o kaya dilaw na damit. Siguro biglang maglalasang ubas ang mansanas. yung tipong ganun.

isang malaking pagbabago na sobrang ikakasaya ko.

iniisip ko na lang, mas matagal mas masarap. kaso hindi masyadong masarap yung paghihintay.

basta. hindi lang pink at dilaw ang dulot. pati yung ngiti ko nun, pinaghalong green, pink, purple, yellow at orange...

mmmmmmmm... sarap nun!

escapist

ngayon lang ako tunay na nakapagbakasyon. ibang klaseng bakasyon ang tinutukoy ko. Nagsimula ito noong wed.23 hanggang ngayong easter sunday. back to reality.

nag - inuman kami sa marikina noong miyerkules at once in a lifetime na nakumpleto na naman ang berks. eew.(kadiri) hehehe. pero sobrang saya.

happy birthday agnes.

nagmarathon movie o naturally called movie marathon (kakapagod mag erase)kami at nakiapid sa bahay nila wenna. =D napanood ko ang Bliss.Passion of the Christ.Someone Like You.Magnifico(huhuuh).Big Fish.Breakfast at Tiffany's.Meteor Garden Marathon =D.at isang mahabang bonding sa gwapalambalamba. haha

dreamworld yata ang pinasukan ko. nood lang lagi movies, kain ng kung anu - ano kahit walang pera. walang tigil na kuwentuhan ng mga pangarap, wishes, lalaki, sex, pangarap.at kung anu - ano pa.

=D =D =D =D =D

ngayon nakakalungkot man. kailangan ko lang magtapos ng apat na papers, dalawang exams at shifting. yun lang =(

wish:i want so much to meet someone. one who would light my semi - darkness and silence my everything in between...


img src="http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y32/eyeka/8993770239228l.jpg" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com">

YIPEEE!!!

Medyo ironic to sa recent post ko!

But nobody can stop me!

I am so happy I just passed my final paper in English21 due today at 12 midnight.

And it's 11:20!


Galing ko!

Buzzer beater!



Yooooohhoooo

i love you

Last Sunday, exactly dawn of Sunday, I received one of the worst news in my entire life. Rea's mother passed away.

I was shocked. That is even an understatement consideringI knew her mama so much and I knew Rea and Rea's a very close friend and I don't want things like that happening to people I love. <I know no one would want that either>

Life can really be so harsh. You could not control nor fight God's ways. You can cry.You can accept. But. there's this big but of TIME. Time alone could heal so much pain. So much pain. More and more time. Sad.

It was three in the morning and without hesitation, i texted my mother and my papa how much I love them. Maybe that's one very important lesson I've learned when I got here in Manila (so far away from Surigao0, eversince I vowed to always text my parents I love you once each day.

We can never tell.

i am sad.

rea, i love you!

unassertive

Assertive adj 1: inclined to bold and confident assertion; aggressively self-assured; "an energetic assertive boy who was always ready to argue"; "pointing directly at a listener is an assertive act" [ant: unassertive] 2: confidently aggressive; "too assertive as a salesman"; "his self-assertive and unflagging energy" [syn: self-asserting, self-assertive]

I don't know where to begin. It seems that I am pulling myself down these past few years. years? haha I realized I failed to assert myself in so many ways. I realized I was too concerned with what people would say. I realized that I was paying attention to pleasing people when in fact it's an impossibility.

I want to grow but I guess I am to blame for being a hindrance to my own growth. Maybe I am not making any sense but really I need to ASSERT myself big time and I don't really know where to begin.

Unang Bundok: Daguldol

Noong maabot ko na ang tuktok ng Bundok Daguldol sa Batangas kahapon, wala akong nagawa kundi ang tumunganga at napabulong ako sa aking sarili, "Ang sarap ng buhay!".

Tatlong oras kong tinahak ang nasabing bundok at sa kauna - unahng pagkakataon nagawa ko na ang isa sa mga pinapangarap ko sa buhay:ang makarating sa tuktok ng isanf bundok. Hindi ko maipaliwanag ang sobrang gaan ng lahat ng mga bagay sa paligid. Para akong hinugutan ng kaluluwa. Iba.

Walong taon na ang nakararaan at tandang - tanda ko pa ang pagpapapnggap kong umakyat ng bundok sa pamamagitan ng mga malalaking bato sa tabi ng bahay namin. Para ako noong tanga. Alam mo yung sobrang baba ng mga bato, pinipilit kong isipin na malalaking bundok ang mga yun at nagdadala pa ako ng packbag para kunwari paglagyan ko ng tubig. Wow. Isang pangarap na naman ang natupad ko. =D

"Oist! Right now I'm at the peak of Mt. Daguldol and I am looking down upon a sea of breathtaking greenery. Kahit mamatay na ako ngayon ok lang!!!" tinext ko laht halos ng mga kaibigan ko pagkadating ko s atuktok ng bundok na may signal! whew!

Hindi basta - basta kong sinuyod ng tatlong oras ang nasabing bundok. Ngunit sapat na ang pakiramdam ng kalikasan at personal na meditasyon at pagpapahalaga sa sarili at kalusugan. Feeiling sobrang healthy at sobrang stress - free activity. Sobrang masrap. Kaaya - aya.

At ng gabi ng Sabado, nagcamp kami sa dalampasigan ng San Juan Batangas na sadyang nasa baba na ng bundok.

Sobrang sarap ang pakinggan ang unggol ng mga alon. Gusto kong magdrama. Ang daming bituin sa langit at isang halong gaspang at lambot ang handog ng mga buhangin sa aking mga paa. Masaya.

Nakaupo ako at kinkanta ang kung ano man ang naisip kong mga kanta noong mga panahong iyo. Wala ako sa sarili ngunit patuloy ang malalim na pag - iisip. Malalim at buhay.

Ang sarap talaga sa tuktok ng Daguldol.

Bridges of Madison County: amputa

"I haven't read a more poetic novel than this. 10% mush and 90% profound love..." Aika Castillo (acclaimed beauty)

Just last night, I texted Crystal at around three am. I have just finished reading "The Bridges of Madison County" by Robert James Waller. And I was sobbing like a kid who lost her paper dolls.

I know I was really overdoing it. But what I thought to be a sleeping potion was actually a heart - crusher in the most literal sense. I am 50 percent cynical about love. And I especially hate mush. Though I want mush for myself. Human nature.

I didn't like The Notebook at all. It's so idealistic. (No offense)

And I won't say I love Bridges of Madison County. I was just super amazed at how my tears were falling non - stop as I was reading th last pages. The letters of Robert and Francesca.

The novel was about old people. Let's say mature people. Mature people who finally found the One. But due to the harsh complications of the woman being married and with children, obviously there was no happy couple in the end. It's always like that.

If not one would die of disease, they would die without having fully enjoyed each others company. That's just waht happened exactly in Bridges.

I admit it was super sad to not be with the one you love, not just actually love but the one who keeps you alive in the most physical and spiritual sense, because such certainty would happen only once. I could just imagine the pain of loving someone but not being with that someone, not even communication, not even his/her sight. Chet.

I would say the novel was poetic because it featured so many quotable lines (waiting to become cliches in the near future) and points to ponder not just about love but about photography, modernity, technology, woman, man and life in general.

I admire Waller for his language. Superb!

Sana nga...
"In a world of ambiguity, this kind of certainty comes only once and never again, no matter how many lifetimes you live." Robert Kincaid

march na marchan marcha

wow. tagal ko di nakapag - update a. Sabagay wala talaga akong panahon. March na naman. Kaso wala naman siguro yan sa buwan, nasa paggamit ng oras at pagbibigay importansya sa panahon. Wala namang bago. Pati bedsheet ko hindi bago. Walang bago.

March. Women's month. Manood nga pala kayo ng produksiyon namin, "Ang Maria". Gusto ko nga rin manood ng Vagina Monologues kaso ang mahal naman kasi. Mabuhay ang kababaihan. Mabuhay si Aika, si Flor, si Pamela, si Bea, si Vanuk, si Agnes, si Wenna, si Irish, si Cryatal, si Cy, si Leah, si Joy, si Mary Ann at si Don! hehehe Mabuhay ang lahat ng mga kababaihang nagbibigay buhay sa sangkatauhan.

Sabi nga ng Prof ko kahit kailan hindi naging mas mababa ang babae. Dahil kahit si Kristo ay piniling mapasaloob sa tiyan ng isang dakilang babae, si Maria.

In view of that, manood kayo ng Ang Maria ng UP Rep! =D